hashtag no caption

salam.

sekarang ni macam2 cerita kes rogol la, kes pheadophile la. kita as a parent xkan lari dari rasa takut, risaukan keselamatan anak kita.

dalam bulan lepas, keluar cerita di area Sg Buloh, lelaki merogol budak 4 tahun. i'm sure everyone knows about it. kisahnya si perogoldan anak kecik yang tak berdosa ni berbangsa Kemboja dan masing2 xde pengenalan diri, bila si perogol ni dicekup dan setelah puas dikerjakan sekalian kampung, barulah depa call polis. nak dijadikan cerita masa ditangkap dan dalam perjalanan ke balai polis, mak pada anak kecil ni cakap tak mahu buat report dengan alasan takde pengenalan diri so takut kalau buat report nanti dengan beliau dan anaknya sekali kena tahan dan berkemungkinan di hantar pulang ke negara asal. yang encik polisi dua orang ni pula, telah memandai membuat keputusan sendiri dengan melepaskan si perogol tanpa meng-consult pegawai atasan. dah namanya penyangak, bila dilepaskan takkan lah dia nak tunggu lagi depan balai kan mesti la dia lari dan menghilangkan diri. alkisahnya, kisah ni jadi bualan penduduk sekitar Sg Buloh dan telah diviralkan menyebabkan encik polisi dua orang di gantung kerja kerana melanggar etika kerja. dan si penyangak ni pula menghilangkan diri selama beberapa minggu.

now, cerita ni mungkin ada lari sikit sebab biasa la bila dah di sampaikan dengan beratus mulut tentu la kesahihan cerita tu cuma mungkin dalam 50% aje yang betul yang selebihnya telah di tokok tambah tapi itu lah cerita yang saya sebagai penduduk di area Sg Buloh dapat. bayangkan lah sebagai parent apa kau rasa bila tau ada perogol kanak2 di kawasan area rumah kau dan penyangak tu dilepaskan oleh encik polisi dan menghilangkan diri? mana dia nak pegi lagi kan? mesti la masih di kawasan rumah sendiri kan? nama pun penyangak dalam takut2 dicekup semula kalau nampak mangsa xkan la nak pandang aje kan? mesti la nafsu syaiton kau tu menggila. haish nauzubillah

ok sebenarnya itu bukan cerita yang nak di sampaikan. cerita yang nak di sampaikan kat sini ialah sejak Mr K kembali bekerja dengan aktif, dia dah takde masa nak amik mini me dari sekolah. so siapa lagi yang kena amik dia? dah tentu la mami nya. i dont mind fetching her from school but:

1. i  can only fetch her during my lunch hour which is 1200-1300 and by the time i reach her school its already 1240 and the teachers have closed the door, afternoon nap for full day kids. and usually bila amik mini me, cikgu siap suruh dia baring with all the kids and dia sampai tertidur sekali. pastu dari sekolah nak hantar ke rumah MIL dah 1250-ish and by the time i reach ofis balik its already 1320 so kira dah terlewat masuk ofis and also no time to take lunch.

2. i dont have reserved parking. sometimes bila pagi kita keluar awal and reach ofis before 0800 parking dah penuh so nak tak nak kena park kat luar ofis, and parking cost $3. so bila balik ofis dari amik hantar mini me pun kadang2 xde park so thats additional $3 for that day. so bayangkan parking sebulan dah berapa. honestly gaji bukannya banyak mana pun. minyak pegi balik lagi. mmg xlarat ok

so few weeks ago we decided to hire transport lady untuk fetch mini me from school. tapi taknak hantar sampai ke rumah MIL alasannya jauh ke dalam. ok fine, acceptable. mmg rumah kitorg jauh ke dalam pun. so she agreed to send mini me ke rumah makcik Mr K yang dekat sikit dengan sekolah. kebetulan transport lady ni kenal dengan makcik dia. ok senang sikit hati tapi tu la seminggu aje dia hantar pastu dia whatsapp kata ada masalah xdpt nak amik mini me from school tapi she knows another transport lady yang sudi take over from her. kebetulan makcik Mr K pun kenal dengan this second transport lady. ok fine, good. problem solved. takyah pening2. so continue la dengan this new transport lady. first day transport lady showed her mini me's school and rumah makcik Mr K, no problem at all. it was a tuesday, i remember. the next day new transport lady amik from school mcm biasa. kebetulan makcik Mr K ada kelas every wednesday, habis kelas dalam pkl 12 camtu, so sebab the day before orang tu hantar dalam pkl 12 lebih so makcik pun was like, 'ok so xpayah rushing balik sangat. sempat sampai rumah before mini me sampai' so bila dia balik tu, jiran depan rumah dia keluar cakap, 'ha kak, ni ha anak sedara depan pintu rumah menangis2 sorang dia je' .......

rupanya new transport lady sampai rumah makcik and dropped her off, just cakap 'ok, acik pegi dulu ye' eventho dia nampak pintu rumah bertutup rapat. and she drove off leaving my 4yo by herself. now, rumah mmg xde orang so whats a 4yo to do, she bagi salam after salam to no avail. obviously la kan. mmg xde orang kat rumah xkan la hantu nak bukak pintu pulak kan. so she went to the house infront. ni mmg rumah sedara makcik Mr K and she bagi salam again. kebetulan takde orang kat rumah jugak. so she went back to the house and continue bagi salam. kebetulan jiran depan rumah ni dengar. by the time she datang, she saw my 4yo sedang menangis sambil bagi salam kat depan pintu rumah makcik. so she took her to her house and fed her while waiting for makcik to come back from her class.

and you know what i was doing while my 4yo was crying and fearing for her own life as she was all by herself? i was having lunch, laughing and eating. while my daughter was crying. yes, im repeating myself, i know. balik tu amik dia dari rumah makcik, bila dia cerita i called Mr K on our way back and told him what happened. obviously he was mad. 

luckily nothing happened to my baby girl. bayangkan lah kalau ada orang yang berniat jahat tengah lalu and nampak budak perempuan tengah menangis seorang diri, apa akan jadi pada dia? nauzubillah 

so skrg ni, jalan penyelesaian nya ialah tukar mini me dari half day tadika ke full day tadika+nursery. terpaksa. bila teringat balik hari tu tak dapat nak describe rasa yang kita alami.

bukan apa, skrg tgh panas kes2 macam ni, kadang2 terpikir nak berenti keja jaga anak kat rumah aje. tapi bila pikirkan komitmen hidup zaman skrg ni mmg nak taknak kena kerja bantu suami cari rezeki lebih. apa yang kita bole buat hanya tawakal & usaha yang terbaik untuk anak2 kita. semoga anak2 kita sentiasa dilindungi Yang Maha Esa, Amin.

:: you're kidding ::

salam.

so aku ni bukan lah queen control, i just know what i want. especially bab makan, mungkin sbb aku ni di kategori kan sebagai org yang pandai makan. 

so selalunya bab makan ni mmg Mr K xcampur dia ikut je. kalau makan kat luar aku yg pilih tempat, dia bawakkan aje. kalau masak kat rumah dia makan aje.

tapi kan sebagai seorang perempuan and isteri, its nice to have your man to once in a while cakap, "xpe sayang, biar i pilih tempat nak makan malam ni" or "i know you nak apa for breakfast"

so kejadian nya ialah, Mr K tanya nak beli apa for breakfast and i said, "tah, xtau nak makan apa" so he went out. bila balik dia pegang beg plastik. rasa cam happy jugak lah sebab ye la selalu aku je nak kena decide nak makan apa, nak makan kat mana and stuff. apa salahnya once in a while kita cakap, "suprise me" kan?

mmg suprise pun sebab dia bawak balik roti krim! not one pack, but 2! TWO FREAKING ROTI KRIM! for someone who always yaps about just how much he knows me; he obviously doesnt know me at all. i dont take light breakfast, hun. not for breakfast, not for lunch, not even for dinner. if its not nasi lemak, at least roti sardin. paling koman pun roti kosong. but roti krim...thats like kim slapping me with her giant ass. 

so i believe there's a moral of the story somewhere behind this story: men doesnt know a damn thing. or maybe i have spoiled him too much that he doesnt know how to be independent anymore...?

#sigh

kbai.

i've had better days than this.... *snoozeface

salam.

so it's official. 10 Dec 2014 is definitely not my day. eventho it has only been half a day, i strongly believe nothing that will happen from now until 12 midnite that will change my mood. well, maybe if Lah ask me our for some chatime hmmm a girl could dream kan?

it started like any other day. i woke up. mandi. amik air segelas, makan ubat. roll deodorant kat ketiak. tepek air tawas kat muka. gosok baju, then put them on. kejutkan anak2...oh wait, pagi ni Jasmin woke up by herself xpayah kejut. kejutkan si montel yang langsung taknak bekerjasama bangun je bila orang kejut. sent them off to MIL's then off to Klinik Desa Merbau Sempak sebab ada appt (yang ni tak termasuk dalam rutin harian)

arrived at the clinic at 8.45am, dah amik nombor so tunggu la giliran. what do you know, by 11 freaking a.m baru nombor aku timbul! dah la klinik desa tak bagi MC slip, cuma bagi timeslip. dapat pulak aku ni keje kat company yang cuma terima 2 jam timeslip. so kira la berapa lama aku duduk kat kerusi yang sama sementara tunggu nombor aku dipanggil. WHAT . THE . FUCK. nak tau sistem klinik ni berfungsi macam mana hari ni? meh akak cerita step by step. memula dia akan kumpul buku dalam bakul yang disediakan then dia akan amik buku yang bawah sekali (means orang tu sampai dulu. xpe standard practice. memang la itu tujuan numbering system kan. sapa cepat dia dulu) then dia akan cari buku merah 2. lepas dah cari buku merah 2 (buku merah ada 2, 1 patient simpan 1 lagi klinik simpan) dia akan panggil nama or nombor kita then dia akan check BP. lepas check BP dia suruh kita kencing dalam botol. lepas tu dia akan amik darah kita, nak check HB dalam darah. lepas dah check dia ajak masuk bilik rawatan, dia akan check jantung baby and also dia ukur perut kita. lepas tu dia akan note down dalam buku merah pastu dia kata, 'ok, tunggu kat luar jap lagi kena jumpa doktor' so bayangkan nurse ada 3, patient ada berpuluh and dia akan ulang proses tu sampai la pukul 11 bila nama Wan Zailin di panggil. kakak nurses, kalau macam ni memang la sampai pukul 5 belum tentu habis. kata nurse kat malaysia ni dah berlambak. so kenapa kat klinik ni nurse xcukup? ok fine la, aku dengan berat hati terpaksa la whatsapp boss cakap, 'sorry. there's no way i can finish this all in 2 hours. guess i'm just gonna have to take half day unpaid leave' to which my boss replied, 'yes, guess so' ok settled bab tu. lepas dah go thru process di atas sampai la kena jumpa doktor. bila masuk tetiba doktor kata, 'Puan, siapa yang review BSP reading you? klinik sini ke O&G, HSB?' 'well, docs at O&G, HSB sebab check up kat sana all this while' according to her, my morning BSP reading should be below 5.3, not more and in my book my morning BSP reading are above 5.3. then she said, 'i have to refer you to emergency wad bersalin so they can take it from there' masa tu muka aku mmg dah tak boleh blah dah. 1st of all, all the docs kat O&G, HSB are supposedly DOKTOR PAKAR. as DOKTOR PAKAR, everytime i came for my follow up, when you go thru my BSP reading shouldnt you have said something there and then? 'eh, Puan. morning BSP reading you tinggi la. i xkan tahan you di wad but i hope your next follow up, reading you akan turun. sebab untuk ibu mengandung, morning BSP reading kena kurang dari 5.3' there, how hard was that? kalau one of you supposedly DOKTOR PAKAR have said this to me earlier, dont you think i would have a better control of my diet so my morning BSP reading will be less than 5.3? anyway one of you supposedly DOKTOR PAKAR which i remember vividly, the same doctor who admit me for my thyroid is the one who advised and wrote in my buku merah morning BSP reading should be below 5.6. so sapa yang spent 5 years or more studying meds so she can give me wrong instruction. ok back to doktor kat klinik desa ni, she said sorry no choice i have to write you a RL. i was already holding back my anger, frustation and most importanly my tears as i said to her, 'so i'm supposed to go after this?' to whuch she replied, 'yes' i let out a heavy sigh and said, 'i have a job you know, which i'm already late to.and i very much like to keep my job. you dont understand.' to which she repeat the same thing, 'im sorry, but this is more important' then i started bargaining with her. i asked if it's ok if i go after work. she was reluctant i can tell, but she said as long as i go then should be ok. so i asked her what's gonna happen there; will they admit me again? somehow she doesnt have the answer to that *eyes rolling furiously so i took my book and the RL and said thank you eventho i didnt mean it. i wanted to scream offensive words to her but then again my momma tot me better than that. as i walked away, i took out my handphone and dialed Mr K's number. of course he doesnt answer his damn phone. one of this day, Mr K if something real bad happen to me and you dont answer you g'damn phone, i will hunt you down like how maya karin did in puntianak harum sundal malam. in another word, i will make it hell for you and make you regret not asnwering the damn phone! urgh, there i said it, so i called the one person who is always there for me, my mom. but then after few rings, i hung up. i didnt want to burden her with my problem. so i start the engine and drove while shouting some offensive words to all supposedly DOKTOR PAKAR who is making my life as hell right now. then mom called. i told her what happened and she told me to go to the hospital as instructed. only she can make me do things i dont want to but of course i didnt go. why should i kan? you doctors should sort your things out, not me. all this while tak cakap pape so why now?

so dah habis cerita menangis dalam kereta and dah betul2 depan segi ni. ada student tgh nak melintas jalan. sebab aku ni mmg anak bapak and seorang yang mengikut peraturan jalan raya, so aku oun slow down and stop in front of the zebra crossing utk bagi laluan pada student yang nak jalan tu la. then tetiba lori bodoh kat belakang aku hon kuat2. i was like what the hell? zebra crossing kot. pastu dia tak puas hati jugak dia hon lagi. dah la aku ni tgh bengang tetiba fucker ni hon xhabis2. tapi xpe dia bukan orang berpelajaran nak2 bangsa kau ni memang xde adab di jalan raya so aku pun buat xtau la.

so there you go. itu pagi je, donno what other interesting things might happen today. and yes, i still havent decide whether i want to go to the hospital or not. Jasmin did asked me to stay at home today. maybe i should have just said yes, sigh.

tq for reading this entry. i just tot since i am not planning to answer anyone's call or sms / whatsapp today, you could just read about it in my blog.

kbai.

Jasmin oh Jasmin

salam.

so yesterday after a very tiring saturday, we got up quite late dalam pukul 10 lebih. Jasmin was the first to bangun *suprise suprise selalu dia yang paling last bangun tapi semalam agaknya dah lapar dia bangun kejutkan Mr K ajak gi beli breakfast. me pulak, bangun je tetibe mood mengemas datang pulak so bangun terus start membasuh baju yang dah... i dont know, say 7 minggu tak berbasuh 😩 lagipun Dahlia was not up yet so Jasmin & Mr K je la yang ke kedai naik scooter. sambil2 baju tengah spin dalam mesin tu, bukak la bonet kereta nak kemas stroller *baru *ehem ehem and nak vakum kereta. pastu tetiba dorang balik pulak. aik, cepat pulak roti canai siap

rupanya otw ke kedai Jasmin tetibe jerit atas motor 'mata kakak! mata kakak!' so Mr K pun berhenti la kat tepi jalan ingat kan mata masuk ulat ke apa. bila berhenti tepi tengok2 kat kening dia ada sengat alahai kesiannya anak mami ni so Mr K pun patah balik

but suprisingly, she wasnt even crying when they got home. nad she was her usual miss lil chatty telling us how it happened.

semalam takde bengkak sangat pun. and  so this morning....

ala kesiannya anak mami ni... 😩 so sebab rasa bersalah & sedih sangat i let her have chocs so early in the morning

insert : lagu balik kampung by sudirman

salam.

ok, raya tinggal berapa hari je lagi kan? baju raya dh beli? kuih raya dh cukup? haa langsir raya dh pasang? courts mammoth tgh ada sale beli kemudian bayar, xberminat ke?

ok la kalau xberminat xpe, xde unsur paksaan kat sini. I ols ok je u ols

ok la sebab nak raya ni kan so nak cerita la pasal kampung sebab raya kan sinonim ngan kampung, kalau xde kampung xde la raya... kata ko

so everytime someone ask me kampung kat mana? balik kampung sapa tahun ni? jawapan untuk soalan di atas; 1. xde kampung 2. xde kampung

I know orang lain semua xsabar nak beraya kat kampung but i can honestly say, no i am saying this with pride, i am freaking glad i dont have kampung. why, one might wonder? ok cerita ni mmg bermula dari zaman saya kecik lagi. kitorg kan dari kecik memang perantauan, setiap kali raya balik Gombak / Alor Setar so dari kecik memang dah dibesarkan dengan perkataan travel, journey dan yg seangkatan dengan nya so bila dah besar ni memang sebut balik kampung je dah rasa nak muntah.

so yes, if you ask me, memang x terkilan pun raya kat KL je, i memang prefer beraya di sini. lagipun maktok memang dah forever kat gombak, tok ajah pulak dah memang di subang jaya and my parents and my inlaws pun memang kat sini so memang bergaya sakan la kami kat tol ldp nanti.

but but, please dont get me wrong. I am not dissing you because you are someone who's willing to stuck in a jam for 9 hours just to reach your kampung, bagus la ada kampung, good for you. tapi as for me, i am glad i dont have kampung anymore. I was born here. and i am proud to call KL my kampung :)

selamat hari raya and pandu dengan selamat.

kbai.

#prayforgaza

salam.

if you are reading this, please take a moment of your time to pray for our brothers and sisters in Gaza.

may Allah gives them enough strength to face such struggle time.

#prayforgaza

what's up thyroid?

salam.

was on the phone with eldest sistah yesterday, and i told her was not having bad headached yesterday, so she asked me to google for natural remedy on how to combat thyroid. sorry, lemme rephrase that. she asked me to do it weeks ago but i kinda forgot. i mean can you blame the girl when FB & instagram are damn attaractive? hehe so i did today and found this good reading :

http://www.naturalnews.com/031642_hyperthyroidism_hormones.html#

(NaturalNews) When the thyroid gland goes out of whack and begins secreting large amounts of thyroid hormones, this condition is called hyperthyroidism. This condition is classified by increased heart rate, loss of weight, excessive sweating, anxiety & agitation, weight loss, fatigue, tremor, & increased bowel movements. Fortunately, we are beginning to understand this condition better and how to treat it naturally to restore balance and harmony back to the body.

The most common causes for hyperthyroidism are a chronically inflamed thyroid (thyroiditis) and an autoimmune condition called Graves Disease. Both inflammatory and auto-immune disorders are caused by an over-active and under-coordinated immune system. Several key factors such as intestinal dysbiosis, common food & environmental allergens, nutritional habits, vitamin D levels, & heavy metal toxicity must be addressed with any inflammatory and auto-immune disorder.

Dysbiosis is an overpopulation of antagonistic organisms in the gut that damage the intestinal wall allowing food particles to easily pass over and end up in the bloodstream. When undigested food particles are recognized by the immune system and tagged as foreign invaders in the body, the immune system then unleashes an assault of inflammation causing a systemic allergic reaction.

The most common food allergens to avoid include gluten containing grains such as wheat, barley, rye, oats, kamut, & spelt. Soy products, different nuts, eggs, and heavy proteins are often not tolerated well. Obviously all processed and man-made foods need to be avoided at all costs. Other common allergens include those of the nightshade family such as eggplant, tomatoes, & onions. Anyone with auto-immune reactions or excessive inflammation should get tested for food allergies or try an elimination diet to see if the conditions improve.

An anti-inflammatory diet and lifestyle are critical for full recovery from these conditions. Anti-inflammatory foods help to modulate the immune system giving it a more accurate pair of eyes so as to not over-inflame when stimulated. To effectively de-inflame, it is key to completely avoid man-made foods, sugars, and food allergens as listed above. The long chain omega 3 fatty acids EPA and DHA powerfully de-inflame the body by restoring natural balance to the lipid wall of the cell membrane.

Other great anti-inflammatory foods include coconut products, berries, and non-denatured, whey protein from grass-fed cows and goats. This protein source is also loaded with L-glutamine and enhances cellular glutathione stores which are both necessary for rebuilding the gut and de-inflaming the body. Anti-inflammatory herbs such as turmeric, ginger, cinnamon, rosemary, & oregano among others should be used as much as possible.

Certain foods such as cruciferous vegetables like broccoli, cabbage, & kale among others contain goitrogens in their raw state. Goitrogens block thyroid hormone production and thus help to slow down the thyroid. Therefore anyone suffering from hyperthyroidism would benefit greatly from eating raw cruciferous veggies.

Vitamin D deficiencies are a common day epidemic. Vitamin D helps coordinate the immune response by allowing the body to recognize between foreign and self proteins. This reduces inflammation and auto-immune reactions. A healthy range for vitamin D3 (25-hydroxy cholcalciferol) is between 60-100 ng/ml which is much higher than the medically acceptable 32 ng/ml. Be sure to know your levels and get them over 60 ng/ml. Spend 20-30 minutes a day in the sun or supplement with 10,000-50,000 IU of high quality emulsified vitamin D3 for a period of time until you reach the desired levels.

Other factors that dramatically affect the immune system and thyroid gland include environmental toxicity. This could be in the form of heavy metals, overexposure to pesticides, herbicides, household molds, personal hygiene products, household cleaning agents, tap water, non-stick coated pans, and others.

http://www.nationalnutrition.ca/healthconcer...
http://www.naturalnews.com/030475_inflammato...
http://www.endocrineweb.com/conditions/hyper...
http://home-remedies-guide.blogspot.com/2010...

(About the author)

Dr. David Jockers owns and operates Exodus Health Center in Kennesaw, Ga. He is a Maximized Living doctor. His expertise is in weight loss, customized nutrition & exercise, & structural corrective chiropractic care. For more information go to www.exodushc.com To find a Maximized Living doctor near you go to www.maximizedliving.com 

Learn more: http://www.naturalnews.com/031642_hyperthyroidism_hormones.html##ixzz31wHnEy00

(hashtag) homesick

salam.

so yday after work, went straight to mil's (everyday routine) konon after dinner with mil nak mandi la. masuk bilik shima nak tukar baju and all pastu baring2 la jap. agaknya penat sangat sampai tak sedar tertidur dalam bilik tu. pintu pulak dikunci hai la zailin (.,.')

i had the most wonderful dream last nite; balik gombak and parents were happy to see me, ma masak my fav dish, talked, laughing alahai mimpi kenapa jahat sangat ni? bila sedar terduduk jap, guess i miss my family so much sampai termimpi :'( nak balik tak boleh, cannot bring myself to it. ye la, orang lain punya hal, punya masalah sampai aku nak balik rumah mak sendiri pun malu.

anyway semalam terjaga, bukak pintu and was suprised lampu dah tutup. oh rupanya dah 1.55am. everyone asleep, so i laid next to Dahlia and sambung tidur.

apparently, sil & husband came by the house. everyone bang on the door, tapi si zailin tidur mati.

i miss my family :'(

kbai, nak sambung nangis.

oh my malay!

salam.

so. Im the kind of mother yang will annoy her kids every single minutes of their lives. like for instant, i constantly reminding Jasmin that i endured 43 hours to get her out to this world. yup, she's gonna be three in less than a month and already i am giving her a hard time :) sorry, baby girl

i love my girls soooo much that i do not wish to have a heart attack when i browse thru my fb and see Jasmin or Dahlia like this. im sorry, but this is just to much of a heartache. 

so always remember girls, i annoy you because i love you, as simple as that.

kbai.

sorry seems to be the hardest word

sorry, i am done keeping my mouth shut.

sorry, i am done trying to please everyone.

sorry, i am done being that girl yang need everyone's approval.

sorry, i am done feeling sorry for myself.

sorry, i am done crying myself to sleep.

sorry, i am done hiding things from my family.

sorry, i am done being stupid.

sorry, i am done with love.

sorry, i am done.

i am done.

done.

#liladahlia

salam.

so Dahlia has turned 1 last month. promised myself i would celebrate her birthday in the same manner as her sister's 1yo birthday celebration (read: a party) tapi tapi tapi.... cerita sedih is coming so brace yourself minggu tu kebetulan ada wedding kat johor so inlaws semua not available that weekend.

so decided to postponed her birthday party. and today is already 12 March. barvo parents! tak tau kenapa after postponing the party takde follow up. at least. buat la makan2 aje. apa la kau ni zailin. kesian Dahlia. nanti besar mesti dia ungkit kenapa kakak ada party tapi dia takde. haha trust me, dia akan ungkit. cos me and the rest of the siblings are always questioning ma and bah kenapa kakak ada party tapi anak2 after her takde. we crazy liddat, thats why :)

anyway, maybe we will still do tapi celebrate sekali ngan kakak Jasmin kot. which reminds me, i havent bought anything for MIL's birthday. oo utk MIL sibuk nak belikan hadiah, mak sendiri tak pernah belikan pape, u might say? well, in my defense, what can you buy for someone who have everything? kan? kan?

and oh, on a totally unrelated matter, i so so want to buy that #ariannarose inner (motif kau hashtag kat sini??) so Mr K's relative sorang ni bagi la link. oh, rupanya sugarscarf ni official sponsor tudung utk that tele series. tapi habaq mai, homaiged mahalnya gedabak! seketul is $55.40. tapi dah diskayn dah sekarang, $49.50 haha tambah postage $7. ok la nampaknya ke shah alam la kita dari bayar postage hehe

kbai.

Confessions Part I

salam.


26 Dec 2013 : did my 1st test. yeap, 2nd line visible though vague. congrats zailin :)
2 Jan 2014 : did my 2nd test, just to confirm. yeap, not so vague as the 1st time. congrats zailin. 

once a year? so mama :) *WEML*

3 Feb 2014 : celebrated bday mini me 2.0. wah Dedek dah besar la :) went out to buy stuffs to make cake. came back and went to toliet. i had stains. 
4 Feb 2014 : went to work and went to klinik with Kak Yus to check. Doc scan and said my uterus is empty *whaatt?? did urine test and yes, im pregnant. she said the dreaded word, maybe you mengandung luar rahim *whaatt?? gave RL and asked me to go and get it check by today.
after work came back, around 8-ish left mak's and went to KKSB dulu. doc cakap something abortion and kalau xnak cuci, tunggu 2 minggu and janin akan gugur sendiri. she didn't even touch me nor look at me.*whaatt?? i know so Mr K dropped me kat Dewan Bersalin HSB andd left to send the girls kat rumah mak. so i checked in, isi borang after borang and waited. around 10 doc called my name and she did the scan. not before she asked me umur Dahlia and i told her she just turned 1 yesterday and Doc gave me her version of death stare. so i smiloed and said, 'i know i know' to which she replied, 'haa so you know why i gave you that look' so tgh scan doc cakap tu ada kantung, ada janin dalam tu. so i was a bit relieved and relax after that knowing that some doc in poliklinik gomez is getting a kick where it hurts most! anyway, doc nak scan lagi and she wants me to empty my pundi kencing. i did and came back and we did another scan. this time bukan kat perut tp sesuatu di masukkan ke bawah *whaatt? gross kan. dont worry Doc tu letak condom dulu kat than scan thingy before she inserted it in *cricket sound she looked kat scan tu lama sangat. i was beginning to feel worry when she turned the monitor towards me and said, 'ok kantung ada, janin pun ada dalam kantung but there's no heartbeat' *glass shattering

Ya Allah, gugur jantung when Doc said that. she told me to come back in two weeks time and they will advise me then. dont ask me if i'm sad or frustated cos i pun xtau nak rasa apa. maybe cos baby still small so xterasa sangat kot. but but but nonetheless still sedih :(

i dont know what went wrong. i dont want to know. i dont know what to think right now.

but my mom is very supportive, so is my eldest sister who's fighting her won battle right now. and my support group (you girls la sapa lagi! :)) are just amazing and very supportive. that's about it la.

what's your excuse?

salam.

some of you might think i created this blog as a place to vent out my anger, frustration and a place for me to complain, complain and more complain. well yes, that was how i first started this blog. i had so much anger in me ( i still do) i need a place to just go, be myself and talk crap for hours and not caring a thing of what people said.

well, now that i am older ehem and wiser double ehem, i decided this blog to be a place to reminds me of wonderful things in life. don't get me wrong, i will still vent out my frustrations here, but i will try to reduce it as much ok, i promise you this.

anyway, i have been following Maria Kang for a while on FB, tho her fitness is somehow an inspiration to me, but i also came across this photo on FB:

that's Maria Kang on the left. yes, its amazing to have three kids and that hot bods to brag around. but somehow, it was probably her good genes that was helping keep her in shape. don't get me wrong, it think she kicks ass! but at the same time, most of us are the one on the right. 

over time, we women tends to let go of ourselves. to us, ala apa nak kisah, im married with kids. im save for life. my husband will not cheat on me. i took care of his food, his clothes, managed the kids by my own, i even managed to double his income even tho i'm a SAHM. that's short for stay at home mom, fyi.

anyway, for my case, as long as my husband is ok with my appearances, i shall remain me. we do talk a lot about this, this may surprise some of you. we talk about this as much as we fight :)

but but, it is important to stay in shape and be healthy. as long as you think a bit chubby is healthy then you are doing just fine. always love your body and maintain a good health. cos you want to be old, watch your kids leaving the nest, leave a mark on this world, settle down and reproduce. i know i want this.

but for now, mini me & 2.0 can just stop growing so fast!! i want my babies to stay just the way they are right now T_T ok dah habis meroyan

kbai.

hi-5

salam.

so Dahlia's birthday is coming up, its on the 3 of february 2014 where she will turn the big 1 *insert bunyi mercun and marching song and yes, you are welcome *sinis

anyway, since her birthday falls on Monday, decided to celebrate a day early which is 2feb Sunday. i just found out last week that the whole (maybe half, i dont know) sharifahs and syeds are travelling south this CNY

T_T why oh why? hehe sorry emo sikit, jangan marah naa

anyway, theres a wedding there and everyone i know is going so the birthday party has taken a turn for the worst cos i no longer feels the need to celebrate big. by big i mean with everyone we know. but since i gave Jasmin (well, we gave) her 1st bday party, it is only fair for Dahlia to have the same celebration...no?

anyway, the next nearest date is 8th feb which i might be working, thanks boss *insert thumbs up

we'll see how, but definitely not everyone is invited. only family and close friends. maybe only family. maybe with close friends. maybe no party. oh, i dont know. 

to do or not to do...

salam.

ok, you have one good news to share. you try to hide it.you're terrible at keeping secrets. it's not yet confirmed but it's confirmed nonetheless. you want to tell the world about it. but you can't. cos if you do, you'll break some hearts and maybe yours along the way, cos we don't know how people would react...

what do you do? would you break those hearts? 

decent exposure :)

salam.

i love being pregnant. i also love the idea of getting pregnant again. aah the special treatment, the attention.
there's no downside here :) maybe gestational diabetic, the high BP are stuff that is holding you back from having that 'glowing' pregnancy.

anyway, there's a lot of Do and DONTS in pregnancy. i google alot about pregnancy. kadang2 orang kata, la anak dah 15 xkan by now xtau lagi how to deal with this or that? dude, anak kalau 15 pun kadang2 xbetul jugak. sebab tu org kata banyak membaca luas pemandangan :)

anyway, if i ever get pregnant anytime soon, i'd eat a lot of seafood this time around. an acquaintance who gave birth somewhere around the birth of Dell, she did that. the moment she found out she's pregnant, dia makan seafood, seafood and more seafood. and alhamdulillah, she got her a boy :) dah sepasang.

i also read, 2 to 3 months before you decided to get pregnant, you should eat benda2 masam. macam ketiak Jasmin & Dahlia haha ketiak dorg xmasam ok :D so tips nak dapat baby boy: lotsa seafod (sampai muntah pun xpe), makan berasid & kurangkan minuman manis (yang ni susah sikit hehe) so in sya Allah kalau niat tu betul Allah permudahkan.

yang penting dalam jalan cerita ni, i already have names for my future kids. tunggu kaya sikit baru bole dapat enam anak. i came from a big family, you shouldn't expect anything less. ramai anak seems rational hehe

anyway, ni semua perancangan, Allah yang tentukan. kalau kata pregnant with another girl pun, alhamdulillah (try harder for boy pulak) kalau dapat boy kira bonus hehe

ok, xde pape pun post ni. kalau ada berita gembira, i will share here. kalau xde berita gembira, keep coming for my merapuness.

kbai.

new year, new hope :)

salam.

so 2013 is coming to an end. dulu sebelum bermulanya tahun baru mesti nak buat azam tahun baru kata kau. tapi tu la, tak pernah nya berjaya menyelesaikan azam tahun baru.

pernah sekali, azam tahun baru nak kahwin dengan Jude Law, time tu sbb tengok cerita The Holiday kot nama movie tu yang ada Miss Cammy tu. Miss Cammy tu sapa? Cameron Diaz la. kalau bespren mesti la ada nama manja kan? hehe perasaan sungguh. 

so time tu rasa JL la yang paling hensem, ganteng, kacak gedebak gedebuk. memang xde sapa pun bole celen kehenseman JL. kalau dia senyum, hai la, terus cair aiskrim magnum coklat & starwberry bagai di makan di bawah terik panas hari sabtu gittew.

haa, kan dah kata. walaupun JL senyum cam perantin puang time nak dinikahkan and tok kadi tanya, 'hok puang setuju ko? kalau xmboh beri ke ambe je la' tapi tetap terserlah kecomelan senyuman itu. lagi mengegarkan jantung, bang Harun  Ajis pun xleh celen hokeh Zer!!

ok, sebenarnya itu bukan tujuan cerpen ini disebarkan. azam tahun baru Zailin, fokus fokus. ok, sekarnga ni dah kahwin and ada anak dah malas dah nak buat azam secara terbuka. tapi sebenarnya masih buat juga, cuma dalam hati. azam setiap tahun skrg ni cuma nak tahun baru ni kaya lebih dari tahun sebelumnnya. amin.

mana la tau, no ekor hari tu kena and pakcik menang motor. hehe ok, tipu. xmain no ekor, main ekor Chum je. Chum tu sapa? alahai banyaknya soalan, baca diam2 xbole ke? hehe Chum itu adalah seekor iguana hijau. nama sumbangan mini me :)

kbai.

ke jalan pulang

salam.

apprently sejak kahwin, i have become more malay melayu. tak tau apa tu? well, malay melayu means, melayu yang dah jumpa jalan pulang. ok, tujuan cerita ni mengenai lagu je, bab lain i'm 100% sure that im a malay melayu.

for the longest time, i didnt keep track of current malay songs, ada radio dalam kereta but selalu dengar hitz.fm je. and Mr K is a malay melayu. dia dengar era fm or sinar fm or hot fm. jarang tukar frekuensi ke hitz.fm dan sebagainya. and sejak kahwin, i became a lazy person, i prefer not to drive. so Mr K la yang selalu kena drive.

i dont really have rules when it comes to boarding my car, cos most of the time its super messy and tak berbasuh sejak sekian lamanya. tapi 1, kalau i'm driving i get to choose what channel i want to listen to. i hate hate hate orang yang tak drive tapi tangan gatal tukar channel tu, pantang pantang ok (double pantang just to show how much i hate that). so sebab dah jadi pemalas and paksa Mr K utk drive all the time, i let him listen to his fav radio channel which is era fm. so bermula lah journey ku kembali ke jalan melayu. so skrg ni mmg jarang tukar channel even when i'm driving. dengar lagu melayu je sampai my sisters pun pelik. sometimes i miss listening to hitz.fm but everytime tukar channel mesti lagu tahpape. i know realised hitz.fm main lagu tahpape, lebih baik dengar mix fm.

ok, post ni merapu. im sorry that i rob 3 minutes of your life to read this. i promise not to do it again. i also promise to keep the promise that i promised just now. 

kbai

salam 1Malaysia.

so 2 days ago #jovianina and #zsrcw got married. congrats to both couple tho both solemnization beza macam langit and bumi. yang satu couple tu sangat simple, very beautiful, and nampak macam something that i would go to (if i was invited la haha) while the other couple tu sangat grand sampai rasa serabut tengok. dari ranting kayu diamond atas kepala bride tu sampai la ke hiasan dewan. maybe kalau ada kat sana, hebat la tapi tengok kat gambar macam serabut.

anyway, itu bukan cerita yang cuba disampaikan dalam konteks kali ini. cerita kali ni adalah bekenaan pindah rumah.

so macam biasa tuan rumah bahagian wanita tu buat perangai. meroyan tetip hari hantar sms ugut nak cari buyer lain utk rumah tu. dude, 1st of all, tu rumah kau kot. kalau memang cita2 kau dimakbulkan Allah utk dapat buyer lain and new owner tu nak masuk rumah tu, i have no objection to move out. dah namanya rumah kau, kau buat la sesuka hati. kenapa nak kena ugut? lepas tu bising pasal sewa rumah. dude, husband aku deal dengan husband kau. bayar pun kat husband kau. kalau kami dah bayar sewa rumah tapi husband kau xbagi kat kau sebagai duit nafkah (kata kau!) itu masalah aku ke? masalah aku ke kalau kau laki bini tak reti communicate sesame sendiri? please la ok.

so sebab, one time tu nak hantar msg guna phone Mr K, ternampak la msg dari tuan rumah bahagian wanita ni. perlu diingatkan ye, ini ternampak, bukan sengaja bukak and go thru msg, whatsapp and private messages (ehem ehem, sorry kakak, peace yo!) so i questioned him. so he told me all about it. that is when i we decided to look for another house.

ok, before we get on with the story, i know what you are all thinking. kenapa zailin and husband dia xbeli rumah lagi? bukan ke mereka sudah ada 2 anak? bukan ke mereka ssudah tidak muda lagi? bukan ke by now they should have a huse under their name? kenapa? kenapa? well people, one word; procrastinate. not me, that is all i'm saying.

ok, so bermulalah pengembaraan mencari rumah (again, i know) setiap pelusuk kami redah, setiap laut kami renangi, setiap api kami terbangi. akhirnya jumpa la jugak rumah kecil di tepi pagar. oh, silap tu tajuk drama bersiri kat tv3 yg tengah femes tu. oh silap lagi, tu playboy itu suami aku. jangan lupa hashtag #PISA kat fb, instag and twitter, sekian. 

alhamdulillah, landed property kata kau, syok la. depan rumah ada laman sikit, belakang rumah ada tempat sidai baju dengan rumput jugak. ada proch so kereta xkena la hujan basah kan? eventho bilik dua je tapi besar and selesa and bole letak banyak barang sikit (berapa banyak and daaa) tapi akak cakap kau, bilik mandi besar bole letak bathtub kau. haa mula la berangan nak mandi dalam bathtub. jangan zailin, jangan cuba mencapai langit.

ok, tu la cerita nya. nanti bila dah habis angkat semua barang (one word; procrastinate. again, not me) and dah habis kemas rumah bole la start plan nak buat kenduri doa selamat sikit. perancangan je, kena kira budjet dulu huhu. 

kbai.

shop away :)

salam.

i think, at 28 i have finally found my true calling :) i should be a fashion consultant. xpun hijab consultant. walaupun i had my misses few times but i feel very happy when someone consulted me about certain baju or even hijab. rasa macam tetibe dapat semangat 46 versi power rangers campur sikit otromen hehe

the other day my cousin om me kat tanya hijab online shop. so after going thru my 'friends' and pages alike rupanya xbanyak yg jual shawl. so i told her kat instagram lagi banyak :) nasib baik beliau mmg ada instagram so i gave her a few online shops. if you ask me, i'd say yang paling i suka dari segi quality and price i'd go for @azfaboutique and @moorniebum. harga shawl yang dijual serendah RM20. memang la kalau jalan kat jalan tar tu bole dapat lagi murah, cuba bagitau berapa orang kat sini yang sudi meredah jam, ribuan manusia yang bersesak2 kat sana? so lebih baik on data and shop away :) and best yet, most of the online shop jual dresses, blouses, shawls, tudung bawal, accesories yang free postage. yeay! yang suka pakai bawal bole cari kat @bawallovers :)

so itu la cerita nya. rasa macam nak type surat resign, print, masukkan dalam envelop, tender kat bos je. tapi apa kan daya living cost di malaysia is getting ridiculous somemore ada dua anak kecik yang cute, comel, omei2 yang perlukan susu & pampers and baju baru opkos! ok, nak jual tudung jap :)