to do or not to do...

salam.

ok, you have one good news to share. you try to hide it.you're terrible at keeping secrets. it's not yet confirmed but it's confirmed nonetheless. you want to tell the world about it. but you can't. cos if you do, you'll break some hearts and maybe yours along the way, cos we don't know how people would react...

what do you do? would you break those hearts? 

decent exposure :)

salam.

i love being pregnant. i also love the idea of getting pregnant again. aah the special treatment, the attention.
there's no downside here :) maybe gestational diabetic, the high BP are stuff that is holding you back from having that 'glowing' pregnancy.

anyway, there's a lot of Do and DONTS in pregnancy. i google alot about pregnancy. kadang2 orang kata, la anak dah 15 xkan by now xtau lagi how to deal with this or that? dude, anak kalau 15 pun kadang2 xbetul jugak. sebab tu org kata banyak membaca luas pemandangan :)

anyway, if i ever get pregnant anytime soon, i'd eat a lot of seafood this time around. an acquaintance who gave birth somewhere around the birth of Dell, she did that. the moment she found out she's pregnant, dia makan seafood, seafood and more seafood. and alhamdulillah, she got her a boy :) dah sepasang.

i also read, 2 to 3 months before you decided to get pregnant, you should eat benda2 masam. macam ketiak Jasmin & Dahlia haha ketiak dorg xmasam ok :D so tips nak dapat baby boy: lotsa seafod (sampai muntah pun xpe), makan berasid & kurangkan minuman manis (yang ni susah sikit hehe) so in sya Allah kalau niat tu betul Allah permudahkan.

yang penting dalam jalan cerita ni, i already have names for my future kids. tunggu kaya sikit baru bole dapat enam anak. i came from a big family, you shouldn't expect anything less. ramai anak seems rational hehe

anyway, ni semua perancangan, Allah yang tentukan. kalau kata pregnant with another girl pun, alhamdulillah (try harder for boy pulak) kalau dapat boy kira bonus hehe

ok, xde pape pun post ni. kalau ada berita gembira, i will share here. kalau xde berita gembira, keep coming for my merapuness.

kbai.

new year, new hope :)

salam.

so 2013 is coming to an end. dulu sebelum bermulanya tahun baru mesti nak buat azam tahun baru kata kau. tapi tu la, tak pernah nya berjaya menyelesaikan azam tahun baru.

pernah sekali, azam tahun baru nak kahwin dengan Jude Law, time tu sbb tengok cerita The Holiday kot nama movie tu yang ada Miss Cammy tu. Miss Cammy tu sapa? Cameron Diaz la. kalau bespren mesti la ada nama manja kan? hehe perasaan sungguh. 

so time tu rasa JL la yang paling hensem, ganteng, kacak gedebak gedebuk. memang xde sapa pun bole celen kehenseman JL. kalau dia senyum, hai la, terus cair aiskrim magnum coklat & starwberry bagai di makan di bawah terik panas hari sabtu gittew.

haa, kan dah kata. walaupun JL senyum cam perantin puang time nak dinikahkan and tok kadi tanya, 'hok puang setuju ko? kalau xmboh beri ke ambe je la' tapi tetap terserlah kecomelan senyuman itu. lagi mengegarkan jantung, bang Harun  Ajis pun xleh celen hokeh Zer!!

ok, sebenarnya itu bukan tujuan cerpen ini disebarkan. azam tahun baru Zailin, fokus fokus. ok, sekarnga ni dah kahwin and ada anak dah malas dah nak buat azam secara terbuka. tapi sebenarnya masih buat juga, cuma dalam hati. azam setiap tahun skrg ni cuma nak tahun baru ni kaya lebih dari tahun sebelumnnya. amin.

mana la tau, no ekor hari tu kena and pakcik menang motor. hehe ok, tipu. xmain no ekor, main ekor Chum je. Chum tu sapa? alahai banyaknya soalan, baca diam2 xbole ke? hehe Chum itu adalah seekor iguana hijau. nama sumbangan mini me :)

kbai.

ke jalan pulang

salam.

apprently sejak kahwin, i have become more malay melayu. tak tau apa tu? well, malay melayu means, melayu yang dah jumpa jalan pulang. ok, tujuan cerita ni mengenai lagu je, bab lain i'm 100% sure that im a malay melayu.

for the longest time, i didnt keep track of current malay songs, ada radio dalam kereta but selalu dengar hitz.fm je. and Mr K is a malay melayu. dia dengar era fm or sinar fm or hot fm. jarang tukar frekuensi ke hitz.fm dan sebagainya. and sejak kahwin, i became a lazy person, i prefer not to drive. so Mr K la yang selalu kena drive.

i dont really have rules when it comes to boarding my car, cos most of the time its super messy and tak berbasuh sejak sekian lamanya. tapi 1, kalau i'm driving i get to choose what channel i want to listen to. i hate hate hate orang yang tak drive tapi tangan gatal tukar channel tu, pantang pantang ok (double pantang just to show how much i hate that). so sebab dah jadi pemalas and paksa Mr K utk drive all the time, i let him listen to his fav radio channel which is era fm. so bermula lah journey ku kembali ke jalan melayu. so skrg ni mmg jarang tukar channel even when i'm driving. dengar lagu melayu je sampai my sisters pun pelik. sometimes i miss listening to hitz.fm but everytime tukar channel mesti lagu tahpape. i know realised hitz.fm main lagu tahpape, lebih baik dengar mix fm.

ok, post ni merapu. im sorry that i rob 3 minutes of your life to read this. i promise not to do it again. i also promise to keep the promise that i promised just now. 

kbai

salam 1Malaysia.

so 2 days ago #jovianina and #zsrcw got married. congrats to both couple tho both solemnization beza macam langit and bumi. yang satu couple tu sangat simple, very beautiful, and nampak macam something that i would go to (if i was invited la haha) while the other couple tu sangat grand sampai rasa serabut tengok. dari ranting kayu diamond atas kepala bride tu sampai la ke hiasan dewan. maybe kalau ada kat sana, hebat la tapi tengok kat gambar macam serabut.

anyway, itu bukan cerita yang cuba disampaikan dalam konteks kali ini. cerita kali ni adalah bekenaan pindah rumah.

so macam biasa tuan rumah bahagian wanita tu buat perangai. meroyan tetip hari hantar sms ugut nak cari buyer lain utk rumah tu. dude, 1st of all, tu rumah kau kot. kalau memang cita2 kau dimakbulkan Allah utk dapat buyer lain and new owner tu nak masuk rumah tu, i have no objection to move out. dah namanya rumah kau, kau buat la sesuka hati. kenapa nak kena ugut? lepas tu bising pasal sewa rumah. dude, husband aku deal dengan husband kau. bayar pun kat husband kau. kalau kami dah bayar sewa rumah tapi husband kau xbagi kat kau sebagai duit nafkah (kata kau!) itu masalah aku ke? masalah aku ke kalau kau laki bini tak reti communicate sesame sendiri? please la ok.

so sebab, one time tu nak hantar msg guna phone Mr K, ternampak la msg dari tuan rumah bahagian wanita ni. perlu diingatkan ye, ini ternampak, bukan sengaja bukak and go thru msg, whatsapp and private messages (ehem ehem, sorry kakak, peace yo!) so i questioned him. so he told me all about it. that is when i we decided to look for another house.

ok, before we get on with the story, i know what you are all thinking. kenapa zailin and husband dia xbeli rumah lagi? bukan ke mereka sudah ada 2 anak? bukan ke mereka ssudah tidak muda lagi? bukan ke by now they should have a huse under their name? kenapa? kenapa? well people, one word; procrastinate. not me, that is all i'm saying.

ok, so bermulalah pengembaraan mencari rumah (again, i know) setiap pelusuk kami redah, setiap laut kami renangi, setiap api kami terbangi. akhirnya jumpa la jugak rumah kecil di tepi pagar. oh, silap tu tajuk drama bersiri kat tv3 yg tengah femes tu. oh silap lagi, tu playboy itu suami aku. jangan lupa hashtag #PISA kat fb, instag and twitter, sekian. 

alhamdulillah, landed property kata kau, syok la. depan rumah ada laman sikit, belakang rumah ada tempat sidai baju dengan rumput jugak. ada proch so kereta xkena la hujan basah kan? eventho bilik dua je tapi besar and selesa and bole letak banyak barang sikit (berapa banyak and daaa) tapi akak cakap kau, bilik mandi besar bole letak bathtub kau. haa mula la berangan nak mandi dalam bathtub. jangan zailin, jangan cuba mencapai langit.

ok, tu la cerita nya. nanti bila dah habis angkat semua barang (one word; procrastinate. again, not me) and dah habis kemas rumah bole la start plan nak buat kenduri doa selamat sikit. perancangan je, kena kira budjet dulu huhu. 

kbai.

shop away :)

salam.

i think, at 28 i have finally found my true calling :) i should be a fashion consultant. xpun hijab consultant. walaupun i had my misses few times but i feel very happy when someone consulted me about certain baju or even hijab. rasa macam tetibe dapat semangat 46 versi power rangers campur sikit otromen hehe

the other day my cousin om me kat tanya hijab online shop. so after going thru my 'friends' and pages alike rupanya xbanyak yg jual shawl. so i told her kat instagram lagi banyak :) nasib baik beliau mmg ada instagram so i gave her a few online shops. if you ask me, i'd say yang paling i suka dari segi quality and price i'd go for @azfaboutique and @moorniebum. harga shawl yang dijual serendah RM20. memang la kalau jalan kat jalan tar tu bole dapat lagi murah, cuba bagitau berapa orang kat sini yang sudi meredah jam, ribuan manusia yang bersesak2 kat sana? so lebih baik on data and shop away :) and best yet, most of the online shop jual dresses, blouses, shawls, tudung bawal, accesories yang free postage. yeay! yang suka pakai bawal bole cari kat @bawallovers :)

so itu la cerita nya. rasa macam nak type surat resign, print, masukkan dalam envelop, tender kat bos je. tapi apa kan daya living cost di malaysia is getting ridiculous somemore ada dua anak kecik yang cute, comel, omei2 yang perlukan susu & pampers and baju baru opkos! ok, nak jual tudung jap :)

when spongebob decided to........

salam.

"mari2 puan dengar ini cerita, suami saya asyik balik awal saja. ada pembantu baru katanya, tentu dia perempuan muda"

haa sapa ingat lagu ni dari iklan mana?

*krik krik krik

oo xtau ke? ok xpe. move on jom

ok, sebenarnya lagu kat atas tu bertujuan konon utk mengumpat. sama la macam mak hari ni, mak nak ajak anak2 semua mengumpat. jom2 kata kawan2 sambil berlari anak menuju ke arah pc memasing.

ok sebab dah jauh lari tajuk, kita kembali ke jalan pulang ye.

lepas incident 8 Nov 2013 yang berdarah telinga tu... hah? xtau pasal apa? ala pasal zailin ngamuk kat group tu? laa xtau cite ke? nampak sangat tak tengok berita tv9, dekat dihati. xpe la cite tu pun dah 2 minggu lepas so xyah la ungkit terjengket ok.

anyway, lepas tu group terus senyap. ada la yang try nak ceriakan suasana. tapi xberapa nak mendapat sambutan. camnilah, korang nak berborak kat situ, boraklah xde sapa marah, aku tak marah. borak lah, free country maa, xde kena samannya, just dont expect me to join the conversation anytime soon ok.

dalam ramai2, xde la ramai mana, 8 org je cuma sorang je yang whatsapp aku cakap tu salah dorang sebab xpeka dgn keadaan semasa. sorang je. yang kahwin dengan classmate dia tu. bila dia cerita kat classmate yang last2 jadi husband dia, classmate dia tu pun kata salah dorang. tapi jangan risau ye kawan2, tujuan aku tulis ni bukan nak mintak korang buat permohonan maaf secara:

a) terbuka seperti yang neelofa memaksa anzalna buat tu

b) whatsapp aku senyap2 dan cakap 'sorry la lin. xyah marah lama2 ok

c) whatsapp kat group and cakap 'ok lin, kalau kitorg salah sorry ok. lupakan kisah lama, jom bukak chapter baru'

tapi xde pun yang buat camtu, hati ni makin sedih. tapi bila ada yang whatsapp tanya, kami just cakap kami dah xmarah. ye la, buat apa nak marah lama2 kan sebab kalau ikutkan aku pun ada jugak terkehel azhael hari tu. so aku mintak maaf jugak. masing2 dah 28tahun kot, ikutkan kalendar tapir afrika selatan, memang 28tahun tu tua. so kira dah mintak maaf ye, sebab tangan yang memberi lebih baik dari yang menghulur, a strong believer in this.

so kira 0-0 la ye. ok dah, malas nak layan korang. nak siapkan name card student utk convo sabtu ni.i'm so far behind. ada report xsiap lagi and OL bertimbun kot x issue lagi. i need 4 extra pairs of hands please!!

if i were a boy, i'd pee....standing (trust me)

if i were a boy - beyonce

{Verse}
If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they stick up for me

{Chorus}
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

{Verse}
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
'Cause I know that she'd be faithful
Waiting for me to come home to come home

{Chorus}
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

{Bridge}
It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

{Chorus }
But you're just a boy
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy

currently listening to this. 


'why are you so jealous? its not like im sleeping with the guy'

'yo i said, why are you so jealous? it aint like im sleeping with the girl'



a healthy reminder. TQ Sasha Fierce :)

P is my not so fav word

salam.

pagi ni drive belakang kereta P tetibe teringat kisah masa i amik lesen kereta *gelak sorang2 jap
oopps sorry tergelak pulak sensorang. lain kali kalau i nak gelak i ajak u'olls ok? tee hee

anyway it was back in 2007 masa i olls amik lesen kereta. sebenarnya masa tu macam nak melengah2kan masa nak amik lesen. i decided to amik jugak lesen cos one day tu my mom was driving then sekali angin dia datang. sangat sakit, i should know cos i had a few episodes myself. dah la tengah sakit then anak2 yang ada dalam kereta time tu xreti bawak kereta and takdak lesen. dengan keadaan dia yang tek berapa nak bagus time tu, terpaksa la jugak drove the car sampai klinik. and at that very moment, i promised myself untuk amik lesen kereta so that kalau terjadi another episode i can take over the car and drive her to the clinic. but of course that was the first and the last time ma had her episode masa tgh driving d'uh tak dapat la wan zailin nak berbakti pada nusa dan bangsa d'uh lagi sekali

so masa amik lesen tu, zahidi pun amik lesen jugak (27, single, ada phd y'all, sapa nak?) so tak de la mak nebes sangat dik non. anyway kami pun pergi la dengar ceramah sampai dua kali (muntah darah bosan) then amik computer test and tak sangka mak lulus, mak ingat mak ni buta komputer :)

anyway masa amik driving test tu pergi sendiri. biasa la i ni memang jenis suka pikir bukan2, so masa pergi tu memang nebes habis la, macam masa pegang tangan tok kadi nak dinikahkan dengan anak dara orang punya nebes. so first day tu pergi la dengan doa dan nebes yang memang takkan hilang. so mula sekali buat test driving, so encik jpj duduk la sebelah kami dan kami pun dengan konfiden walaupun nebes bawak la kereta tu. sampai kat simpang tetibe encik jpj kata, 'ok, turun sekarang' and i was like 'huh? what the?' punya konfius. later i found out, i tak tarik handbreak masa kat berhenti kat simpang. please la encik jpj, takyah koya sangat boleh tak?

disebabkan nebes yang tak hilang, and failed my first test, so tahap konfiden ketiak nivea pun macam dah kurang, dari 89% ke 54%. so berjalan la dengan lemah longlai lagi gemalai ke tempat 2nd test iaitu naik bukit. so when my name was being called, kami pun naik la kereta and yes, you guess it right! i failed naik bukit test.

so sementara tunggu abang driving school amik kitorg, i called babah and cried over the phone. Ya Allah, zailin. failed driving test je kot. xyah la nak koya menangis gaban sangat. it's not like Lah Ahmad tolak pinangan lu, xyah la nak rabak sangat weh!

so the week after that, i went again and alhamdulillah, lulus ujian bertulis... eh eh silap silap lulus driving test. itu pun masa u turn bukan main over lagi sampai makan jalan sebelah. then i looked at encik jpj yang ada dalam kereta tu dengan pandangan pusss in boots 2011 sambil mulut ber eh eh. dia kata, 'awak kenapa? nak lulus jalan je' so lulus la azab no 1. so sebab tahap konfiden uberman aaron aziz dah naik dari 89% ke 98%, kami pun berjalan la ke kawasan naik bukit test. masa tengah tunggu tu, ada la makcik ni dalam 50tahun++ pun nak amik driving test jugak. eh sebuk je makcik ni. so makcik ni pun masuk la kereta tu utk naik bukit setoek tu. dia start enjin pastu boleh tahan la dia ram minyak tu (tah la, main sebat je penggunaan perkataan, asalkan paham) pastu agaknya dia pun nebes macam i olls dia pun tekan la minyak sekuat2nya dan terus kereta tu meluncur ke depan macam yang dalam f1 tu, laju betul sampai kereta tu ke depan, langgar kereta yang ada kat bawah bukit tu and terbalik ke tepi. punya la panik orang ramai time tu, dorang cepat2 membantu menegakkan kereta itu kembali. pastu yang paling best, makcik tu keluar kereta, gelak tutup mulut sambil berlari sebab malu. and yes, i failed naik bukit, again.

so i came the week after that, buat test naik bukit, lulus and dapat la buat 3 point turn (itu ke nama dia?) and sebab takut fail lagi, letak cheat sheet kat seat sebelah. sambil masuk parking sambil curi2 pandang kertas takur salah buat. nasib baik encik jpj tu semua meyorok bawah bumbung sebab kepanasan so mereka pun tak nampak la cheat sheet i olls *gelak jahat

sebelum buat 3rd test, kami pun gatal2 tangan bawak kancil pusing area rumah. dah la gatal tangan, bawak mamat pulak tu dalam kereta. pastu nak u turn dah terkebil2 tepi jalan. ada la dalam 45minit pastu beranikan jugak lah diri u turn kat situ. pastu sampai rumah masuk la parking, agaknya tertekan minyak kuat terhiris la sikit bahagian depan kiri kereta sebab langgar dinding tu. sebab nebes babah dah nak balik keje, cepat2 la simpang kunci kat dalam rumah.pastu boleh pulak babah balik dia lalu sebelah kiri tu. the way he looked at me that day, will always remain in my memory. pastu dia jerit tapi tak la kuat sangat. 'sapa buat ni? zailin ke?' he never call me zailin, ever. so paham2 sendiri la yang bapak eh tengah marah time tu.
note: babah tak kasi anak2 dia bawak kereta sebelum ada lesen

so bila dah dapat lesen, paham2 je la macam kita je yang pandai bawak kereta, macam kita je la tau undang2 jalan raya. tee hee tapi sekarang dah ada anak and bawak soccer mom car so takde la nak speed macam jalan tu bapak kita yang punya!

sekian. pandu cermat jiwa selamat ye kawan2. and kalau drive balik kelantan, jangan pandang billboard 3V tu, ada ponti bertenggek kat situ, seriyes tak tipu.

kbai

to kill a mockingbird

ok, malam tadi (taktau la malam ke subuh ke sebab hari ni TERbangun lambat) mimpi:

we were walking, all four of us; abi bear, mami bear, kakak bear and adik bear. dalam mimpi ni Dell dah pandai jalan so i was holding her hand while walking. dalam mimpi ni jugak, abi bear berjalan di belakang mami bear and adik bear, xtau kenapa dia jalan kat belakang sekali tapi nama pun mimpi kan, mimpi ni ibarat candy crush time tidur hehe ok merepek. anyway, kakak bear berjalan la di depan. no wait, lemme re-phrase that. kakak bear SKIPPING di hadapan, yes you heard right. skipping, such a joy moment for every mother bila masa anaknya ada ikut perangai dia masa kecik and in my case, skipping. so she was skipping in front of us and as she skipped her way around the corner, she dissapeared. by the time kami sampai kat corner tu, dia was gone. Masya Allah. paling tak suka mimpi yang melibatkan anak, lagi2 bila mimpi macam ni.

tapi tu la, orang kata mimpi ni mainan tidur kan. so tak perlu ambil pusing sangat. tah la, sampai sekarang teringat mimpi tu. zohor kang nak doa lebih sikit untuk anak2, amin.

ok, tu je selamat beramal and selamat makan tengah hari. lapar dah ni

back and here again

HELL is how i would describe these past 4 tormenting, traumatizing days.

but,

what's past is past. kita should just focus on present day and the future. future yang masih tak pasti.

"here, put on my wedding ring, go ahead, wear my shoes, live my adventures, then judge me"





"Ya Allah, kau lindungilah aku, keluargaku, sahabat2ku dari segala sifat2 yang jahat Ya Allah. Kau berikanlah kesejahteraan, ketenangan dan kesejahteraan kepada kami Ya Allah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim. amin"

ini bukan cerita hantu

salam.

i do not know why would anyone be jealous of me? nak kata kaya, tak. nak kata pangkat tinggi kat ofis, tak. nak kata hiduo senang, tak juga. but somehow i managed to make someone jealous of me, so jealous sampai sanggup bagi i makan something yang tak baik.

11.09.2013 : woke up on Wednesday morning and rasa badan sakit2 and mual2 and sakit perut (hai berapa banyak dan laaaaa) so whatsapp bos kata on mc. sambung tidur and around 11 something Mr K kejut ajak gi klinik. went to the clinic, doc cakap food pisoning and demam. so took ubat and hope the next day baik. the rest of day xyah cita le ye :)

12.09.2013 : woke up and still sakit perut amd it doesnt get any better. whatsapp boss again and she was somewhat pissed off cos i am still on mc and the nect Monday is our major intake. went again to the doc dia cakap janga skip makan ubat and jangan makan pedas2.

13.09.2013 : woke up and still felt bad. did the same thing, whatsapp and boss replied K, so bila dh di K kannya kita, paham2 je la ye... ajak Mr K gi klinik tp dia kata doc suruh rest (which i dont remenber doc cakap) so the whole day baring je la. anak2 di uruskan oleh Mr K.

14.09.2013 : ke Kuantan for Boboy's engagement.still not feeling well tp kena pergi cos the next week before that aunty sam and uncle faridd bersusah payah trying to get us our new car out. macam tak betul ayat but no time to spell check or such. malam tu still rasa tak sihat sampai nangis2 sebab bahagian bawah mengekuarkan produksi tanpa sebarang warning. kalau tak paham bole la whatsapp utk mengetahui cerita sebenar hehe so malam tu gi klinik doc ckp gastric. makan ubat and felt a little better than before.

so sampai sekarang still rasa tak sihat. hari tu MIL ada cakap kalau still xbik dia nak bawak jumpa ustaz mus. so last week masa i anak beranak minus Mr K berkampung kt gombak, Mr K and MIL gi la jumpa ustaz mus. apparently, ada orang gave me something to makan. dont ask me how, dont ask me when i myself couldnt remember. i am a foodie so bila org hulur kotak ke, tupperware ke, plastik yg berisi makanan mmg amik je. ye la, mana la kita nak tau ada jugak 2013 ni org yg berfikiran kolot kan, rupanya ada lagi....

if you ask me, ada suspect sapa2 x, of course la ada. ye la, beliau asal dari kampung so mmg perangai pun agak kekampungan berasa diri tu bandar. tanya ustaz dia pun xnak bagi nama. dia kata kita fikir nak baik je.

ok itu je la cerita hari ni. doakan saya sembuh dan bersih dari sebarang benda kotor n kolot ni.

sekian

i am not adopted, thank you

salam. 

 so last month (masa raya la) Mr K decided to buat makan2 for his side. so we have been busy for the past two weeks prior to the makan2 as not only kena masak but we also kena kemas rumah. 

being the only girl in the family yang tak pandai masak kami pun kena la start pikiaq apa menu yang nak buat. so we came up with the list: 1. mee goreng basah Mr K 2. thousand island pasta 3. lontong 4. nasi impit 5. trifle 6. pie 7. choc cake 8. sambal for lontong 

 on the eve of the makan2, we bake the cake, rebus nasi impit, buat trifle and siapkan bahan2 utk the rest of the menu. we slept at 4am that night even jasmin -.-' 

 the next morning i woke up around 8am, started with pie, pasta and lontong. on that same day jugak lah BIL kena report for NS kat MBPJ Stadium. and boleh la pulak FIL mintak tolong Mr K bawak him, BIL and MIL ke stadium cos apparently he doesn't know the way... so pagi to without Mr K's presence i had to cook, jaga the kids at the same time and i tell u, pagi tu la pulak dahlia xnak duduk diam, nak suruh dukung bagai hmm anak anak sabar je la ye 

 Mr K balik by 10 something, almost 11 kot. so kemas2 mana yang patut by then i managed to siapkan, choc topping utk choc cake, pie, pasta and lontong atas dapur tgh masak. once dh siap Mr K start masak mee goreng basah yang akhirnya tak basah tapi lagi sedap dari mee goreng basah dia teehee :D 

 so the invitation says after zohor and right after azan zohor habis berkumandang, 1st family showed up. so rumah pun start riuh everyone came, ate and laughed. i'd say it was a success :)but if you ask me, never will i ever invite anyone for open house again. it was a tiring affairs cos by the time the last couple left our house, we baring2 kat depan jap and woke up at 9pm! tsk, even the kids pun penat and tidur. 

 but i must say, i enjoy cooking macam ni and seronok bila orang puji masakan kita. so next nak invite my side pulak for makan2, in sya Allah :) hmm nak kena start tulis menu ni

p/s: yes, i know cerita ni dah basi and September is coming to an end :)

D.E.M.O.T.I.V.A.T.E.D

salam

i am having a terrible backpain right now. it's been going on since last week. i was at surau somewhere last week, lepas sembahyang zohor terus pump susu utk Dahlia and as i was sitting i let out a heavy sigh and told Kak Yus & Has my back was killing me and they ask me the 3 most terrifying words, 'ARE YOU PREGNANT?' *pengsan

before i found out i was pregnant with Jasmin, i was having some disargument with a colleague i was working with at that time and i happened to let out my feeling to Kak Yus and she ask me the same question back then, went home and did the test and BAM! +ve bebeh!! so when she asked me the same thing ofkos la mak jemah berasa sangat nervous.

so esoknya i olls pun bought the test kit and jeng jeng jeng it was -ve. of course there was a sense of relieved as i don't think i am quite ready for another baby so soon. but today, as i am sitting at my workdesk and typing this i still have that backpain. talked to Tini just now, she was sharing her experience with one of her kids. sometimes, bila you check dia akan keluar -ve. maybe sebab time tu masih baru so kit tak dapat detect whether you are pregnant or not. but the thing is after my confinement, i had period once which was in april and i did not have any since. so kalau kira pakai jari or kalkulator, its been 3 months since i last had my period. now if you ask me, i wasn't really paying attention to that details as i tot any mom who breastfeed her baby exclusively DOES NOT GET PREGNANT. but then again, Tini who still breastfeed her 1yo daughter (not exclusively tho) and hasn't had any period for almost two years now and get this, her due date for her 5th child is this saturday 27th. so yes, she said i should freak out and check again next week since the backpain is not planning to go away anythime soon.

so should i freak out? it's been 3 months since my last period, by now i should know kan kalau i am pregnant? betul x? and the 2nd line should be visible by now. so if you ask me, i am not freaking out cos i just don't feel pregnant. but i do feel heavier tho. maybe cos i use breastfeeding as an excuse to pig out whenever i see food *peace sign

sebenarnya, this post was meant to vent out my frustration of my work hence the name demotivated but somehow dah tersimpang jauh pulak -.-'

anyway, while we are at it, i am feeling so demotivated right now. setiap hari i force myself to wake up. i would tell myself oh i have reports to do, offer letter to issue, letters to distribute and so on. i don't know, somehow working is not as thrilling as it used to. back when i was still single, i was good at what i was doing. i know what i was doing but now i just don't feel the same passion anymore. should i blame motherhood? i want to take care of my own kids. i am yearning inside to quit my job and become a stay at home mom but lets face it, with this economy, maybe kena kerja sampai 60tahun.

i was telling zara the other day, maybe we should bukak a shop or maybe buat online shop ke. i mean, sekarang ni online shop tumbuh bak cendawan and it looks damn promising. tah la, maybe i merapu too much cos of the backpain.

ok itu je la, kbai

life is always greener on the other side

i love when others think they can have the final say when it comes to my daughters, it's like; if they didn't come out from your vajayjay, you don't get to decide for them. i appreciate the advices tho *finger gun, double click sound

28 is just a number

alhamdulillah, i am now 28. i know i know, this post is like major late but what the heck, i've been busy.
anyway, in my 28 years of life, 2013 is THE only year i received 3 birthday cakes, alhamdulillah been blessed with great family and friends :)

24/4/2013 : i went to work as usual. nothing special as everyone is busy busy with work. so the day just went by without any celebration.

25/4/2013 : came to work. after lunch saw a box in Ms Kiran's room. trust me, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what's inside it :) by 4 something everyone started singing birthday song and i pretended to be suprised. i mean, c'mon i had to put up a show somehow winks while we happily makan the cake i confessed that i saw the box earlier. in my defense, Ms Kiran put the box up on the cabinet which was like obvious for everyone to see so takkan la nak tegur time to, i had to pura2 la :) anyway, thanks bosses and colleagues for the wonderful cake. love you guys *teary eyes ahaha

26/4/2013 : it was friday and right after work i came home, siap2 and off we went to Port Dickson as saturday it was majlis bertandang for my SIL fiza. we reached PD around 10 something and FIL ajak the whole family (our family, ende's & ayah ndak's) for dinner. so we came to this floating restaurant (don't ask me where, i have no idea) and everyone settled into place. i was talking to SIL shima & cousin sister kak ija when jeng jeng jeng semua started singing birthday song and there was a cake infront of me. aku pun punya la sengal time tu, siap angkat muka pandang atas kek nak tengok nama sapa atas kek tu, dah la they olls letak kek tu terbalik and its quite dark so you can't really see. i looked at shima and asked, 'is the cake for me?' sengal, i know. but it was a pleasent and totally unexpected suprise. so, thank you everyone for the cake and the lovely suprise :) zailin sayang awak semua *ayat geli

28/4/2013 : it was sunday. packed everything and traveled back to KL. it was still early when we reached KL so we went to gombak to lepak2. malam after dinner tetiba (lagi sekali) terdengar lagu birthday berkumandang. yeay, another cake. thank you familia ku, me heart you guys mucho!!

so that is the story of Zailin and her 3 birthday cakes. again, thank you family and friends, no words can really express just how much you guys mean to me. ok, tu je, ta ta adios amigos sempres.

go ahead, shoot some ducks

i'd give up my left leg just to get to spend a day with my two babies, particularly today, you know, being a working mom and all. unfortunately the same can't be said about some.

it's a sad sad world we're living in...

segar dari ladang :)

salam.

alhamdulillah, since masuk kerja ni, sekali pump boleh dapat 3 bag ni *happy face* rezeki Dahlia :)

kbai

zailin is a supermom... says no one ever

salam.

as much as i love my two daughters, i also enjoy sleeping. and these two kids especially my number two loves to disturb me during my beauty sleep. as a selfish self-centred mother, i cannot tolerate all this! *muka serious* yesterday night, she kept us up until 4 something. both me and Mr K terpaksa bergilir2 pegang cos everytime letak dia terjaga and melalak. so this morning, in the battle between good and evil, we decided that buai is the best solution to our problem. 

itu je cerita kali ini.


kbai.


p/s: and oh, jasmin is just waiting for anyone of us to put her in the buai -.-'

my angels :)

jasmin & dahlia

how cute is this? 

kisah itu dahlia

i know it's been 23 days since, but what the heck

introducing my 2nd angel, Puteri Aamirah Dahlia Binti Khairulanwar, born on 03.02.2013 at 15:25, weighing at 3.19kg with 10 cute fingers and 10 even adorable toes :)

this is her 1st photo, it was taken curi2 by Mr K right after beliau iqamatkan baby

so the story is, i woke up in the morning dengan slight sakit perut, lingered around the house 1st, making sure it was contractions. after a few confirmed contractions went in the room and let Mr K knows and bersiap lah kami ke HSB. mujurlah kami di gombak, so tinggalkan jasmin dengan parents, rasa sangat sedih nak tinggalkan jasmin sebab by the look on her face, you can tell that she knows that day is the day her sister is coming to the this world (reads: beliau agak cranky)

so both me and Mr K pun bertolak la ke HSB, disebabkan minggu sebelum itu adalah Thaipusam and minggu itu sendiri ada sambutan Ponggal, maka kami pun tidaklah menggunakan MRR2 utk ke HSB sebaliknya kami menggunakan DUKE. 

so we arrived kat Wad Bersalin, HSB dalam pkl 11, since this is my 2nd time so tau la more or less apa nak kena cakap and buat, so i register while waiting for Mr K to come and sign a few of the documents, sempat lah borak2 dengan misi kat kaunter tu. now this is off topics but in my 2 kali bersalin kat HSB, misi2 yang ada bertugas whether kat wad bersalin or kat wad itself memang sangat baik, peramah and they really took care of you so i really don't know kenapa ramai yang komplen kata servis kat sana xbagus and so on

ok, sambung balik. so after register, masuklah saya ke dalam untuk pemeriksaan lanjut (cewah!) by then contractions pun dah semakin kuat jugak, doc cakap bukaan dah 3cm so kena tunggu bukaan besar sikit sebelum boleh masuk labor room, so for the time being duduk la diam2 kat ruang menunggu together with other expecting moms yang juga sedang menunggu kat dalam. masa menunggu tu i remember feeling soo sleepy, so in between contractions tu sempat la lelapkan mata, selamba je angkat dua2 kaki letak atas kerusi and doozed off ye la dah la kena tunggu, kena tahan contractions lagi dah tu nak buat apa? tidur la dah alang2 mata mengantuk kan? hehe sambil2 tu sempat lagi berBBM dengan non, eqa & rina :) 

(ok, this part agak gross sikit sebab scene atas jamban, so sapa yang rasa loya tu boleh la skip this part aite? :))
by 3 o'clock ada rasa tak selesa yang amat sangat macam nak kencing so i went to the toilet and kencing tapi lepas kencing tu tak bangun lagi dari jamban, i have this feeling macam nak keluarkan something else, actually the feeling is indescribable macam u knew something is coming out but u're not sure apa, emmm paham x jalan cerita ni? so i waited a bit longer dalam toilet tu and i gave a small push and heard a 'plup' sound and said to myself, i think my water just broke. yes people i finally get to say that! yeay me! and being gatal me, i seluk my hand down there and i actually felt my crowning glory opened! gross, i know but i had to. imagine bunga yang kuncup then kembang, itulah situasi yang dialami at that particular moment. and the moment i felt the opening, terus ada satu perasaan nak teran yang sangat kuat, like you want to push the baby out time tu jugak which i tahan. so i got out of the toilet and waved at one of the misi and cakap dengan dia. she asked me to lie down on one of the bed and she gave out a litlle squeals. dia kata dah fully dilate and cepat2 dia sorong katil tu ke labor room. and on my way to the labor room which is just 3 doors away dari bilik tu, lalu la di hadapan beberapa misi and doc, a few of them commented something like, eh kenapa puan ni tak panic pun (cos they heard misi yang tolak tu kept saying dah fully dilate) and the reason i tak panic was cos i tengah tahan myself from teran cos this time around, nak sangat Mr K dapat masuk labor room so sebab tu la nampak cam kuat je minah ni walaupun sebenarnya dah panik jugak hewhewhew

so masuk labor room, ramai pulak penonton kali ni, i think about 7 nurses yang ada kat dalam bilik tu, masa jasmin dulu 3 orang je kot. ni siap ada doc intern lagi, siap mintak permission nak stay dalam LR nak tengok, since both of them are girls, so i let them stay la, baik kan kasi intern docs peluang tengok? so lepas dah siap2 tukar baju atas katil bagai, one of the misi cakap, ok puan dah boleh teran dah to which i reply, xpe saya nak tunggu husband saya masuk (oh, masa dalam commotion tengah sebuk2 tukar baju sempat cakap kat one of the nurses to call Mr K masuk) so semua pun menunggu la kehadiran YB Mr K, time tu dah 2x rasa nak teran tapi masih bisa tahan lagi, by 3rd memang dah xboleh tahan i told one of the nurses on my right yang i cannot tahan so dia kata ok, puan dah boleh start teran.

so dengan bismilahirrahmanirrahim, i pun start teran and voila, masuk la Mr K dalam LR like a knight in shining armor (well, it felt like that at that time ;p sebab lega dia masuk jugak) so 3 kali push and out she came to this world, alhamdulillah :) but sama macam jasmin, i did not get to hold her sebab baby dah berak dalam perut. 

maka, dengan berakhirnya cerita ini, bermulalah episod baru saya yang bergelar mother of two ni.

sekian. hope the story did not gross you out ;p

hey, i just met you and this is crazy

i know i sounds crazy and you probably think i watched waaaaaaay too much tv but my ultimate wish for this pregnancy is to be able to say, ' i think i just broke my water '

there, i finally said it. pheeww! feels good to get it off my chest hewhewhew :)

* random post while waiting for my number to come up

wishlist : DIY Moby Wrap

sebenarnya, kalau ikutkan hari ni tinggal 12 hari je, benda ni nak post hari selasa, tah apa masalah blog ni, beliau xkasi pulak i post gambar hari tu, penat la kami dok refresh2, log out login xmau nye juga (jawa alert!!) hmm hmm don't u just hate it when ur blog decided that they have a mind of their own and simply refused to listen to ur command? don't u just hate that? agree please.

anyway, since ada beberapa hari je lagi ni, i am trying to get myself a DIY moby wrap, nanti senang nak jalan2 kat bandar melaka time cuti pantang nanti...emmm i shouldn't be saying that out loud kan? kan dah kantoi -.-' ehehe xde la, sebenarnya lepas tgk cousin sister beli and pakai after she gave birth to her 2nd, teringin jugak nak beli kan. cos i have always hated baby carrier yang i bought untuk mini me dulu, yang itu adalah standard baby carrier yang ada jual kat pasaran terang maupun juga pasaran gelap, sangat tak hands-free cos everytime i put it on, baby rasa condong ke depan so u have to support using ur hands jugak, which kalau time shopping tu susah cos u need ur hands for other stuff also like carrying bags & stuff. so when i saw just how comfortable moby wrap is for both mother and baby, i decided to do the obvious; google :)

u can even carry ur 1 year ++ daughter, awesome sangat

rupanya moby wrap ni dah ramai yang pakai, nampak sangat la teman ni sangat ketinggalan when it comes to baby accesories, tp xpe kan? better late than never :) banyak gila kot website yang menjual moby wrap ni, but sadly harga adalah tidak berbaloi untuk something yang u may only use for 4-5 months je. price range RM150 to almost RM200, so i asked my cousin sister, berapa lama dia pakai for her baby, dia pun pakai 2-3 bulan je then dia jual pada kawan dia. she advised me to buy preloved je, sebab memang xkan pakai lama pun dia kata. sebab kain tu dari material yang very quality jugak, so eventho it's preloved item tetap nampak baru and still in good condition. so i goggled la preloved pulak, malangnya la rasanya cos preloved pun xjauh sangat beza dgn harga asal, around RM100-RM130. so cam sedih la jugak kan, then it occured to me, i've seen the tutorial, why didn't i think of it in the first place? so i google again, this time; DIY moby wrap. after all, it's just a long piece of kain that u lilit2 around you and tie the end part. Masya Allah, happynya sebab ramai jugak yang rasa sangat membazir beli yang original so decided to DIY, so found this great website yang ajar step by step. but the downside is, dorang pakai kain jersey. kain jersey ni kalau yang i biasa jumpa agak keras jugak kualiti kain dia, which is not suitable for malaysian weather, dia american, kat sana xpanas sgt macam kat sini. tp xpe, nak seribu daya taknak seribu dalih, i showed MIL cara2 buat moby wrap (cos i need her help to jahit kan bahagian tepi kain tu) and also asked her advise on kain apa yang sesuai utk buat wrap tu, being a tukang jahit dia tau la jenis2 kain so we decided on the best one which is, lycra :) lycra ni macam kain jersey tapi dia lebih stretchable and nipis than jersey so kalau pakai breezy la sikit.

so tomorrow, me and zara is the going to the nagoya to the buy the kain :) hari tu dah survey kain and harga, okay la Rm16.80 per metre. kalau dikira upah beli kain tambah upah jahit tepi lebih berbaloi kot dari beli yang original so moby wrap dah boleh ( / ) on my wishlist :) anyway, lepas tu kena belanja dia cornetto sundae and teman dia pegi H&M *insert muka meluat

a happy mami right here :D

#latergram versi cerpen

so yesterday i finally had the time to start packing baju for three (mine, Mr K's & just a few for mini me as i have took one whole box of hers & mini me 2.0's baju to gombak) while i was busy lipat-ing and susun-ing the baju, i realised Mr K was sort of staring at me. so i ask him what's up? he had one of his more serious look on his face and ask me am i in pain? "what pain?" ku tanya balik "y'know, labor pain la. u dah start sakit ke?" and i laughed at him

seriously Mr K, kalau teman dah start rasa contraction ingat teman nak duduk diam2 lipat baju camtu ke? kompem dah kelam kabut sumbat je mana2 yang patut. i know why he's worried tho, masa i first had my contraction dulu i did not say a word to him, i told MIL mintak teman gi hospital je, and he overheard me and that's how he found out. so beliau takut this time around, i will pull off the same trick. hewhewhew

anyway, semalam i finally packed the bag utk rumah gombak, i finally packed bag yang nak bawak ke hospital and put the bag nicely dalam kereta. tapi sekarang ada sedikit sesalan sebab hari ni tak drive, Mr K hantar ke ofis and he took off dengan kereta ke his office ahaha *lap airmata tanda kebodohan diri



anyhuu, totally unrelated, semalam kami call jabatan pertahanan awam buat report pasal sarang tebuan kat pokok betul2 sebelah tangga nak ke rumah. sarang itu adalah sebesar besar jasmine 5kg. malam sebelum tu, Mr K kata anytime boleh jatuh tu. haa tu yg teman tak berapa nak gemar tu, dah la mini me jenis jalan terkedek2, mau nye time kitorg tgh jalan kat bawah tu tetibe sarang tu terjatuh (mintak simpang), haa macam mana nak lari tu? nak angkat beliau lagi, nak bawak perut lagi...kan? kan dah banyak kerja tu. anyway, masa call semlaam org yg amik report tu kata dorg hanya boleh buang sarang tu time senja je. i came back around 7.30 semalam and takde pape pun yang berubah, sarang tu still ada lagi. Mr K kata it would take more than one report for them to actually get them to do it. anyway, pagi ni masa keluar sempat la pandang, rasanya dah tak nampak tapi xsure la maybe tertengok pokok lain sebab time tu kereta dah jalan, tapi nampak macam dah takde. kalau betul takde alhamdulillah kalau ada lagi balik kang nak buat report lagi sekali. ok dats all :)

pain oh pain

"cuti starts when the pain kicks in"

this is the honest answer i gave everytime someone ask me when am i going for my leave. bukan niat nak berlagak good2 but i just don't want to waste my leave or mc just so i can duduk rumah goyang kaki while waiting for the contraction to start taking place. i mean if this is my 1st, maybe la but since this is my 2nd pregnancy, i pretty much know more or less how bearable or unbearable the pain is, so tak payah kot nak cuti awal2.
besides, the morning i had my 1st contraction masa pregnant dulu, i drove myself to the hospital with my MIL in tow but was told to go home sebab jalan belum bukak lagi (the term use by some)

but Mr K is not keen to the idea. dia kata kenapa la nak seksa diri, amik je la cuti ke mc ke, rehat je kat rumah sementara tunggu due. sebenarnya kalau diikutkan logik, betul jugak. i can always take a week leave before my due date as the doc has advised me that i can't go more than the due date which is 5.2.2012 thanks to me having diabetes during this pregnancy. so maknanya kalau baby belum keluar by end of january pun dah boleh amik cuti. tapi itu ikut logik, kalau ikut hati memang taknak membazir cuti or mc so back to sq 1 hehe sorry Mr K, you cannot win this fight :)

so moral of the story, camne2 pun, taknak amik cuti awal2, tunggu sampai rasa sakit baru amik cuti, in sha Allah akan dipermudahkan :)

hello 2013

welcoming the new year with 35 more days, maybe less but definitely not more than 35 days as i'm having diabetes thru out this pregnancy. ok, dah mula rasa risau gundah gulana. tak kisah la kalau ni anak yang ke 2 ke, pertama ke, no 10 ke, perasaan nak bersalin tu tetap sama. mesti risau, takut apa2 terjadi kat baby kan, isk jgn mintak yang bukan2 zailin. anyway baby D setiap hari mami sembahyang, mami mintak dipermudahkan urusan kita so in sha Allah, in 35 more days, i will get to hold you in my arms, safe and sound :) can't wait!!

i was working half day on monday so after 1pm, kerah Mr K, zara & mini me to accompany me to a warehouse baby fair near monash university. it was such a bummer tho. managed to buy a cap and new shoes for mini me but nothing for the baby as i don't find anything on sale that interesting :( so penyudahnya ke manjaku taman sri gombak je la, since they are also having year-end sale. i bought diapers for baby, some toiletries, yu yee oil, and maternity pads for myself.

the other day they had a carseat that was on sale, it was only RM95 and i was saving the money i had at that time for something else, so when i went on monday, dah takde dah :( i was so sad as a new carseat for baby is on my wishlist. ni lah wishlist untuk baby yang i had in mind for sometime already:

1. moby wrap (by now, i don't feel like buying as i don't think i will be using it that much and rasanya guna for few times than tak guna dah so cam membazir je kot kalau beli. anyway did my survey the market price for it in msia is RM150 more or less)

2. carseat (tot of buying this for baby as i did not get to buy for mini me back then, rasa cam sedih sangat kalau tak dapat cari carseat for her)

3. double breast pump (dah survey harga, yang paling murah dalam RM300++, this time around rasa nak fully BF her, so did some survey jugak, dorang cakap if you pump both breast at the same time, lebih banyak milk akan di produce which is good)

tapi taktau la jadi beli ke tak all this, tengok la dulu camne ye :) anyway, most of the stuff for baby D dah ada, dah bawak ke rumah gombak cuma playpen je taktau nak bawak ke x, Mr K pun xdecide lagi nak bawak ke x, so kita tgk la nanti camne kalau ada, ada la playpen kat sini. bukannya guna pun nanti rasanya sebab baby D tidur ketiak sebelah kiri mami, mini me tidur sebelah kanan weehee :) oh, nak kena start cari skirt for myself sebab time berpantang ni taknak pakai kain batik, nak pakai skirt barulah hipster cewah!!