(hashtag) homesick

salam.

so yday after work, went straight to mil's (everyday routine) konon after dinner with mil nak mandi la. masuk bilik shima nak tukar baju and all pastu baring2 la jap. agaknya penat sangat sampai tak sedar tertidur dalam bilik tu. pintu pulak dikunci hai la zailin (.,.')

i had the most wonderful dream last nite; balik gombak and parents were happy to see me, ma masak my fav dish, talked, laughing alahai mimpi kenapa jahat sangat ni? bila sedar terduduk jap, guess i miss my family so much sampai termimpi :'( nak balik tak boleh, cannot bring myself to it. ye la, orang lain punya hal, punya masalah sampai aku nak balik rumah mak sendiri pun malu.

anyway semalam terjaga, bukak pintu and was suprised lampu dah tutup. oh rupanya dah 1.55am. everyone asleep, so i laid next to Dahlia and sambung tidur.

apparently, sil & husband came by the house. everyone bang on the door, tapi si zailin tidur mati.

i miss my family :'(

kbai, nak sambung nangis.

oh my malay!

salam.

so. Im the kind of mother yang will annoy her kids every single minutes of their lives. like for instant, i constantly reminding Jasmin that i endured 43 hours to get her out to this world. yup, she's gonna be three in less than a month and already i am giving her a hard time :) sorry, baby girl

i love my girls soooo much that i do not wish to have a heart attack when i browse thru my fb and see Jasmin or Dahlia like this. im sorry, but this is just to much of a heartache. 

so always remember girls, i annoy you because i love you, as simple as that.

kbai.

sorry seems to be the hardest word

sorry, i am done keeping my mouth shut.

sorry, i am done trying to please everyone.

sorry, i am done being that girl yang need everyone's approval.

sorry, i am done feeling sorry for myself.

sorry, i am done crying myself to sleep.

sorry, i am done hiding things from my family.

sorry, i am done being stupid.

sorry, i am done with love.

sorry, i am done.

i am done.

done.

#liladahlia

salam.

so Dahlia has turned 1 last month. promised myself i would celebrate her birthday in the same manner as her sister's 1yo birthday celebration (read: a party) tapi tapi tapi.... cerita sedih is coming so brace yourself minggu tu kebetulan ada wedding kat johor so inlaws semua not available that weekend.

so decided to postponed her birthday party. and today is already 12 March. barvo parents! tak tau kenapa after postponing the party takde follow up. at least. buat la makan2 aje. apa la kau ni zailin. kesian Dahlia. nanti besar mesti dia ungkit kenapa kakak ada party tapi dia takde. haha trust me, dia akan ungkit. cos me and the rest of the siblings are always questioning ma and bah kenapa kakak ada party tapi anak2 after her takde. we crazy liddat, thats why :)

anyway, maybe we will still do tapi celebrate sekali ngan kakak Jasmin kot. which reminds me, i havent bought anything for MIL's birthday. oo utk MIL sibuk nak belikan hadiah, mak sendiri tak pernah belikan pape, u might say? well, in my defense, what can you buy for someone who have everything? kan? kan?

and oh, on a totally unrelated matter, i so so want to buy that #ariannarose inner (motif kau hashtag kat sini??) so Mr K's relative sorang ni bagi la link. oh, rupanya sugarscarf ni official sponsor tudung utk that tele series. tapi habaq mai, homaiged mahalnya gedabak! seketul is $55.40. tapi dah diskayn dah sekarang, $49.50 haha tambah postage $7. ok la nampaknya ke shah alam la kita dari bayar postage hehe

kbai.