salam.
26 Dec 2013 : did my 1st test. yeap, 2nd line visible though vague. congrats zailin :)
2 Jan 2014 : did my 2nd test, just to confirm. yeap, not so vague as the 1st time. congrats zailin.
once a year? so mama :) *WEML*
3 Feb 2014 : celebrated bday mini me 2.0. wah Dedek dah besar la :) went out to buy stuffs to make cake. came back and went to toliet. i had stains.
4 Feb 2014 : went to work and went to klinik with Kak Yus to check. Doc scan and said my uterus is empty *whaatt?? did urine test and yes, im pregnant. she said the dreaded word, maybe you mengandung luar rahim *whaatt?? gave RL and asked me to go and get it check by today.
after work came back, around 8-ish left mak's and went to KKSB dulu. doc cakap something abortion and kalau xnak cuci, tunggu 2 minggu and janin akan gugur sendiri. she didn't even touch me nor look at me.*whaatt?? i know so Mr K dropped me kat Dewan Bersalin HSB andd left to send the girls kat rumah mak. so i checked in, isi borang after borang and waited. around 10 doc called my name and she did the scan. not before she asked me umur Dahlia and i told her she just turned 1 yesterday and Doc gave me her version of death stare. so i smiloed and said, 'i know i know' to which she replied, 'haa so you know why i gave you that look' so tgh scan doc cakap tu ada kantung, ada janin dalam tu. so i was a bit relieved and relax after that knowing that some doc in poliklinik gomez is getting a kick where it hurts most! anyway, doc nak scan lagi and she wants me to empty my pundi kencing. i did and came back and we did another scan. this time bukan kat perut tp sesuatu di masukkan ke bawah *whaatt? gross kan. dont worry Doc tu letak condom dulu kat than scan thingy before she inserted it in *cricket sound she looked kat scan tu lama sangat. i was beginning to feel worry when she turned the monitor towards me and said, 'ok kantung ada, janin pun ada dalam kantung but there's no heartbeat' *glass shattering
Ya Allah, gugur jantung when Doc said that. she told me to come back in two weeks time and they will advise me then. dont ask me if i'm sad or frustated cos i pun xtau nak rasa apa. maybe cos baby still small so xterasa sangat kot. but but but nonetheless still sedih :(
i dont know what went wrong. i dont want to know. i dont know what to think right now.
but my mom is very supportive, so is my eldest sister who's fighting her won battle right now. and my support group (you girls la sapa lagi! :)) are just amazing and very supportive. that's about it la.
